you call yourself a mixologist? try asshole.

I read something. Well, I have read a lot of things lately.

I literally just finished the first ‘chapter’ of Assholes: A Theory and I am already nose deep. If I did not have a ridiculously early flight on Saturday, I would probably finish reading the book by night’s end tomorrow. The book is written by Associate Professor of Philosophy at the University of California, Irvine, Aaron James. He is also an avid surfer, and handsome - but completely beside the point.

Asshole management begins with asshole understanding. Much as Machiavelli illuminated political strategy for princes, this book finally gives us the concepts to think or say why assholes disturb us so, and explains why such people seem part of the human social condition, especially in an age of raging narcissism and unbridled capitalism. These concepts are also practically useful, as understanding the asshole we are stuck with helps us think constructively about how to handle problems he (and they are mostly all men) -although I’d like to add a fair share of women as well- presents. We get a better sense of when the asshole is best resisted, and when he is best ignored — a better sense of what is, and what is not, worth fighting for.

Basically, how to deal with assholes. I am so excited to finish this book. As much as I love a good piece of fiction, this is the kind of non-fiction that just really gets my eyeballs tingling and brain on full alert.

Back to what I read. So I have a passion for creatively-crafted cocktails. I appreciate the combination of oddball flavors and balance. I spent a bit of time behind the bar. I learned fast. I was thrown in. Living in LA will sometimes result in that. As great of a bartender as I became, with a nationally-awarded cocktail recipe under my belt, and a bit of press on others I would never take away from the title others have earned as a “mixologist”. There are some innovative, fantastical minds out there doing some incredible things. I have the pleasure of knowing a few around the nation and one even exists here in little ‘ol Greenville.

Back to my point, these guys and gals deserve the title of “mixologist” though it seems run-of-the-mill, every day bartenders are staking claim to the same title. Just because you sling drinks and take orders does not constitute such an (in your case) undeserving title. It takes creativity, off the cuff, innovative minds to fulfill the desires of a true connoisseur’s tastebuds.

The more entertaining part is that it wasn’t just one person I saw blabbing on about it. Strangely I have read the rants of several individuals just in recent days and weeks. They say that bartenders are heady and far too confident. Heady, yes. Confidence, on the other hand, has clearly been falsely interpreted. Arrogance is the word to accurately describe this behavior. Sadly, the people I speak of will continue walking through life completely unaffected by what I have to say because their heads are too far up their own asses to even realize I am speaking to them, and about them.

… hence my open, leading with the bit about Assholes.

That is it for tonight, children. Craft beer wishes & cocktail dreams.

sharp-tongued gal.

William Blake said “A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.” I don’t believe any truth should be told with bad intent, but intent to clear a path for revealing deceit. 

I have always had a sharp tongue. My philosophy is that people should always be aware of where you stand, otherwise you will lose your place. Sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse, my intuition holds very strong. I rarely offer my thoughts, rather wait for them to be requested though provocation can sometimes be an intimidating visitor. 

With a role bearing some authority and standing it is my responsibility to choose my words wisely, a task that proves more difficult than imagined. I have always had the freedom to let my words flow through my fingertips, but as it turns out people are incredibly sensitive - especially to the truth.

Few to none accept any responsibility for their actions. We live in a society where so much is taken for granted. People lie to get what they want, to intentionally hurt people and then expect pity. Well, the ‘woe is me’ act is far beyond it’s expiration date. 

I was taught to take life seriously, but to have fun while doing so. I read that “some say you only live once, but really you live every day and only die once so make the best of it.” That speaks a lot of truth. Do you really want to look back on your life, realize the reason you were so miserable and lonely was because your entire life was a lie? 

I care little what people think of me. I care a lot about what I think of myself. I struggle with confidence, as do many but a lot of that is trying to avoid becoming completely consumed with myself. Confidence is good, cockiness is petulant. 

I come from old roots. Those roots are pretty grounded, but as any healthy one does - they grow, at least some. I am fortunate to have parents, siblings and friends that love and appreciate my individuality. I have a strong sense of commitment to those I love. My thoughts and beliefs are my own and do not reflect any but my own. We all come from somewhere, but we all have a responsibility to grow on our own. We cannot be allowed to place that responsibility on who and what we are from, but upon ourselves because we all have a choice, choices. We choose to take the paths we take. There are and always will be temptations and influences that will try to sway our deepest wants and needs but those of us that stand tall and fight our way through will prove to be most successful in life and love. 

As I have said before I am not a ‘political’ person, but I am passionate about the causes closest to my heart. I choose not to say ill of any person and choose to fight for what I believe in.

Like many things in life, people fall prey to the hype, to what’s ‘popular’ and to what is expected of them. I have offended many people in my 30 years, but without intention. It is those who are insecure in their own thoughts, beliefs and actions that take any difference of opinion to another level and make it about themselves. Though, a guilty mind sees what it wants to see …

I have not a guilty mind but a strong conscience. I am emotional at times, but it is only because I care so much for those I love, and for matters close to my heart. Though I am nowhere near perfect (thank goodness) I am thankful for the ability to see so clearly the line between right and wrong. I know when to fight and when to take a step in the other direction. I know who I am, where I am from and though I may not know where exactly my future will take me I know that it is in a direction of hope and good things. I live my life as honestly as I can and it feels good, great. There are no lies, no stories I have to keep fresh in my brain. There are only memories, dreams and love. 

Say what you will about me, but doing so will only say more than enough about you.

“You either like me or you don’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else.” ~ Daniel Franzese (Bully, Mean Girls)

life’s most efficient form of torture? perhaps.

being completely exhausted, yet not being able to sleep.

sleepless in greenville.

thoughts. nightmares. sickness. another sleepless night.

positive: time for journaling again.

the good & the evil.

as humans we are tasked with making decisions throughout our entire lives - whether it be from the moment we open our eyes and decide to crawl out of bed or roll over and reach around the person we love to more daunting things such as how we wish to be buried. some choices tend to be more conscious than others and circumstances may regulate ultimatums, but those which we should narrow our focus are the ones that revolve around being ultimately good or evil.

everyone struggles. we all have our weaknesses, but we need to remember that while some appear to be okay the reality for them could be quite different. my parents taught me to always be kind and reach out - my grandparents were even better examples of that. i tend to take better care of the people i love than i do myself, and not for the sake of being a martyr but to remind them of how special they are and what love they deserve. evoking happiness in turn makes me happy. i extend a portion of the same compassion to those i am less close to. the result, while mostly an abundance of gratefulness and warm sentiments, can sometimes be received in a most spiteful and ungrateful way. it is discouraging to make such an effort and sacrifice when the return cannot be met with, at the very least, a mild appreciation. and yet i keep trying.

if your goals in life and the things that make you ‘happy’ come at the expense of hurting others then you have already failed at life. what may be fun and recreational for you could potentially be detrimental to others. humans are so selfish and it is our individual responsibility to make the effort to be selfless.

i pity those with ill intentions, as they will never be truly happy.

ridiculous and unbelievable things that really happen …

1. busting your own lip.

the ridiculous and unbelievable part: taking a swig of mouthwash and somehow coming down w the bottle and making contact w the vanity mirror.

how? god only knows. but it happened.