Pain makes us stronger. Tears make us braver. Heartbreak makes us wiser.
I’ve recently decided to transition my life, both inside and out, into a better place. As I have gotten older, friendships and relationships have come to mean something different to me. Things we bring into our lives, much like things we put into our bodies, should be pure. They should be full of nutrients that supply us with the things that make us stronger. Toxicity brings us down, makes us weak. Although, we must experience pain, anger, negativity and heartbreak to fully appreciate the good and healthy in our lives.
Growing up you long to have as many friends as possible. You find yourself exploring different outlets in search of finding what best suits you. Keeping up with ourselves is a life-long journey. We evolve as humans in every way possible. The key to making it work is to have a solid foundation. In order to share ourselves with the world, we must first know where we stand as individuals. “To thine own self be true.” Thank you, Shakespeare. From there, we have roots on which we can allow ourselves to be shared with others, in friendships, relationships, partnerships. We can’t afford to be lost in other’s journeys.
At this point in my life, I am ridding myself of mere acquaintances, negative relationships, the people and things that serve me no good. I would rather put my energy into people and things that exude positivity, that will give back what I put out. True friends are there to see the first tear, catch the second and prevent the third. I am so blessed with a family that has come to accept me as I am. My parents, though having a tumultuous relationship of their own, showed my sister and I nothing but love and support over the years. Not a single night passed without them being the last person to say “I love you” before we slept, and the first to say each morning. Having been raised very conservatively, my outward appearance may be a testament that I have taken an alternate path in life. Not so much the truth. While I have learned to question things for myself, my life and my beliefs are based on the morals I was raised on. Love others. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Love yourself. God loves us all. Need I go on?
Despite your religious affiliation, or lack thereof, I think we all believe there is something bigger out there. It’s an argument everyone can win. Regardless, life in itself is a miracle. We should wake up every day grateful to have even this one shot at life. When you look back at history and look forward into the future, it’s easy to see just how short this life is. Doing so should make you realize that we should make everything count. We are not promised tomorrow, even the next second in life and I want everything I do to be just a small mark in my legacy. I want to love completely, feel completely and live completely.
Granted life is not always easy; so we must rearrange our attitude towards it. When I wake up every morning I tell myself that it is up to me, regardless of what events that may occur that day, to be happy at the end of that day. When we are positive, we attract the positive that exists outside of ourselves. Same for the negative. We choose to be happy. We may not be able to choose who loves us, or even who we love, but we can choose to love ourselves. We should never settle for less than what we deserve.
I want people in my life that WANT to be around me. I want people, though it may sometimes hurt, who will be completely, wholeheartedly honest with me. Obligation is just an excuse. There should be a driving force inside of you that makes you feel as though you must have these certain people around you and in your life. If there are questions, it’s only ‘normal’. But when you find yourself questioning more often than not there is probably a good reason why. Never give yourself to people until you are willing to give your whole self and they are willing to give the same.
I love my friends, my family and they have become one in the same. An ounce of blood weighs more than a pound of friendship, which is why I consider my dearest of friends my family. I want trust, respect, love and acceptance and in turn I offer the same. I am truly blessed, and I am a work in progress - but have a damn good pair of feet on the ground.
Of course we move on from those that hurt us, but no matter how far we manage to go we cannot seem to escape love. It’s haunting. It’s like a bad smell that just lingers and fills your head of memories attached to its presence. We often wish to rid ourselves of love and emotion completely, but what would the alternative be? To feel nothing? I, for one, would rather feel the reality of both love and pain than be void of all human emotion. For those of us that allow things to effect us, we grow from those feelings - whether they be love, hate, happiness. We choose to become better and we choose to be happy regardless.