William Blake said “A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.” I don’t believe any truth should be told with bad intent, but intent to clear a path for revealing deceit.
I have always had a sharp tongue. My philosophy is that people should always be aware of where you stand, otherwise you will lose your place. Sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse, my intuition holds very strong. I rarely offer my thoughts, rather wait for them to be requested though provocation can sometimes be an intimidating visitor.
With a role bearing some authority and standing it is my responsibility to choose my words wisely, a task that proves more difficult than imagined. I have always had the freedom to let my words flow through my fingertips, but as it turns out people are incredibly sensitive - especially to the truth.
Few to none accept any responsibility for their actions. We live in a society where so much is taken for granted. People lie to get what they want, to intentionally hurt people and then expect pity. Well, the ‘woe is me’ act is far beyond it’s expiration date.
I was taught to take life seriously, but to have fun while doing so. I read that “some say you only live once, but really you live every day and only die once so make the best of it.” That speaks a lot of truth. Do you really want to look back on your life, realize the reason you were so miserable and lonely was because your entire life was a lie?
I care little what people think of me. I care a lot about what I think of myself. I struggle with confidence, as do many but a lot of that is trying to avoid becoming completely consumed with myself. Confidence is good, cockiness is petulant.
I come from old roots. Those roots are pretty grounded, but as any healthy one does - they grow, at least some. I am fortunate to have parents, siblings and friends that love and appreciate my individuality. I have a strong sense of commitment to those I love. My thoughts and beliefs are my own and do not reflect any but my own. We all come from somewhere, but we all have a responsibility to grow on our own. We cannot be allowed to place that responsibility on who and what we are from, but upon ourselves because we all have a choice, choices. We choose to take the paths we take. There are and always will be temptations and influences that will try to sway our deepest wants and needs but those of us that stand tall and fight our way through will prove to be most successful in life and love.
As I have said before I am not a ‘political’ person, but I am passionate about the causes closest to my heart. I choose not to say ill of any person and choose to fight for what I believe in.
Like many things in life, people fall prey to the hype, to what’s ‘popular’ and to what is expected of them. I have offended many people in my 30 years, but without intention. It is those who are insecure in their own thoughts, beliefs and actions that take any difference of opinion to another level and make it about themselves. Though, a guilty mind sees what it wants to see …
I have not a guilty mind but a strong conscience. I am emotional at times, but it is only because I care so much for those I love, and for matters close to my heart. Though I am nowhere near perfect (thank goodness) I am thankful for the ability to see so clearly the line between right and wrong. I know when to fight and when to take a step in the other direction. I know who I am, where I am from and though I may not know where exactly my future will take me I know that it is in a direction of hope and good things. I live my life as honestly as I can and it feels good, great. There are no lies, no stories I have to keep fresh in my brain. There are only memories, dreams and love.
Say what you will about me, but doing so will only say more than enough about you.
“You either like me or you don’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else.” ~ Daniel Franzese (Bully, Mean Girls)
for the record: they don’t pair well together. not the worst morning, but definitely uncomfortable. i’d like to thank my man friend for his generosity - buying everyone shots of tequila - but in lieu of the aftermath i might just karate chop him later on.
here’s the deal: it’s been like an incredibly whirlwindish month. so much has happened. i had to say goodbye to my fancy little cottage in the pseudo-burbs (holy long story) but moved into a sweet little condo with my bff. [ok other bff’s, cool your shorts. you haven’t been replaced.] i have been working my tail off - literally. it’s like gone. my boobs got published. no lie. i got to see a dear friend from high school for the first time in several years. [hey dest] i experienced atlanta food & wine fest firsthand. went to visit my mom. while there also saw my grandparents and aunt. went to asheville and wined & dined. spent a fortune on my car only to find out the real problem will cost $2,300. made decision to get rid of said car. georgia now thinks her name is ‘no’. had a snake want to murder me dead. met new friends that are cooler than your friends. drank a lot of expensive beer and wine. learned to eat onions - as long as they’re cooked to death. spent time w my beast while he was on hiatus from the big apple. ate nana’a mac & cheese. went dairy-free the next day. baked my bourbon-soaked peach crumble about 7 times. eaten bourbon-soaked peaches. drank bourbon. accidentally flashed someone during a facetime convo. facetimed w bff mel - and no, she was not the recipient of said flash. discovered a new trick on instagram. recited the pledge of allegiance in french [thanks mr. mckee] dreamt about pregnancy. calm down. it wasn’t me. discovered why tv’s shouldn’t be in the bedroom. gave georgia a sister. sort of. realized karma doesn’t work as quickly as i want it to. but it will. i have faith. so y’all watch out - she’s coming. came to terms w the fact that maturity is a choice and people aren’t choosing wisely. respect is a rare jewel. daydreamed about punching a few people in the face. and yes, in my head, violence solved everything. discovered georgia will literally eat anything - styrofoam packing peanuts included. not all pitt bulls are scary. not all people love dogs. weirdos. thought about getting a pocket pet. it’ll happen, just when ga chills out a bit. lost an uncle. said some naughty things. had sunday lunches at cousin’s. played w some of the coolest munchkins ever. hurt my neck jumping on a trampoline. i’m almost 30 - things don’t bend as easily as they did 12 years ago. had asparagus pee. photobombed everyone w an abundance of our darling puppies. woken up in dress from night before [current situation]. missed a lot of people. heard some awesome rumors about myself in a town where I keep a low profile. found a new post-work friday hang spot: the owl. it’s incredible. watermelon old fashioned? yes please. grown to respect and love my bosses even more. they’re awesome people. created some new cocktails. snooped through my roomie’s drawers. given great life advice that i should probably take myself. gosh, there’s just so much. i want to go on, but i have kids that need feeding and more than likely they need to potty.
it’s been real. i’ve missed you. this. getting my groove back.
see you soon.
Sundays used to be my least favorite days. As a child I was forced into frilly dresses and Sunday school. Let’s be honest, expecting a child to sit down for longer than 5 minutes is asking a lot. As a teenager it was the last day before school. Expecting a teenager to sit in a classroom for 90 minutes at a time is still asking a lot. As an adult it is the last day before work. Most people hate their jobs, and I used to be one of them.
Sundays are now my favorite days. Maybe it’s mountain life, the endless outdoor activities or just that they are rather peaceful.
These days I look forward to the week ahead, leaving my Sundays stress-free and care-free. My ‘work’ involves taking care of three beautiful kiddos that, while being loud / typical kids, they brighten my day; and then I spend my Friday and Saturday nights working in an industry that I love, learning from people that I respect.
So yes, things have a way of changing. Something I used to dread, I now look forward to. Happy Sunday.